Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His hands were made for my vagina.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
