those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize