I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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