I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
