I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
