your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
