Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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