Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
