I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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