If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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