Well douche your snatch and let's go!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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