I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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