bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
