Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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