Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
