he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
