My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
