no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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