Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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