You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
