real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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