She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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