i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
