you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
