You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
