The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
