Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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