spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
