Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
