If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
