I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
