glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
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I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
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You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.