they're staring at me
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.