Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440
  Replies (31) Good night (4844) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win. http://tfl.nu/f8rt
  Replies (40) Good night (5967) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone. http://tfl.nu/rtzl
  Replies (13) Good night (2406) Bad night (3965)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe http://tfl.nu/5ing
  Replies (14) Good night (3658) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/gvzv
  Replies (11) Good night (1209) Bad night (5009)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter http://tfl.nu/ikrf
  Replies (5) Good night (3756) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks? http://tfl.nu/fbfw
  Replies (8) Good night (1269) Bad night (2870)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it. http://tfl.nu/6k4w
  Replies (18) Good night (5016) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you? http://tfl.nu/0iy8
  Replies (18) Good night (5762) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4
  Replies (9) Good night (3013) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless... http://tfl.nu/qugn
  Replies (8) Good night (1978) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (438): I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning. http://tfl.nu/ev9g
  Replies (15) Good night (3177) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me" http://tfl.nu/p6et
  Replies (8) Good night (1637) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers. http://tfl.nu/nu4z
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents? http://tfl.nu/sosc
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (267)

Randomize