ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.

  Fav 12 1502 979

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  idk but i think it had a face

  Fav 15 1173 1840

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (678): View more from Georgia

  why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

  Fav 32 3926 1021

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Ontario

  So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading

  Fav 21 3544 1196

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad girls dont get visible erections

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  But, it would have made life so much easier...

  Fav 27 3772 908

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana

  Fav 17 5980 1290

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

  Fav 60 4897 1962

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?

  Fav 16 1756 5573

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

  Fav 63 5926 1331

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.

  Fav 6 2889 1520

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.

  Fav 6 920 1701

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?

  Fav 9 2094 892

  share tweet
  

• (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.

  Fav 2 2116 1129

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -

  Fav 5 516 876

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.

  Fav 1 728 378

  share tweet
  

Randomize