Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Randomize
Follow @tfln