community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella