Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.

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  (203): there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous. http://tfl.nu/bkt2
  Replies (20) Good night (2224) Bad night (673)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?

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  (859): do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night? http://tfl.nu/r2u5
  Replies (17) Good night (937) Bad night (4936)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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  (206): at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception. http://tfl.nu/j51s
  Replies (34) Good night (1716) Bad night (4759)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

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  (301): Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get http://tfl.nu/ews4
  Replies (64) Good night (5040) Bad night (1524)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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  (717): so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody... http://tfl.nu/6y77
  Replies (1) Good night (3098) Bad night (716)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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  (519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100
  Replies (3) Good night (2868) Bad night (1203)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

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  (904): Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again http://tfl.nu/3izm
  Replies (7) Good night (2718) Bad night (933)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

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  (313): Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now http://tfl.nu/t7qb
  Replies (19) Good night (1052) Bad night (4532)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.

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  (512): You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you. http://tfl.nu/zer9
  Replies (16) Good night (3144) Bad night (617)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.

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  (360): I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard. http://tfl.nu/3vju
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (395)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.

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  (860): Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up. http://tfl.nu/ujg8
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (406)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.

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  (513): I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move. http://tfl.nu/stfw
  Replies (5) Good night (794) Bad night (305)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"

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  (613): He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know" http://tfl.nu/d7uq
  Replies (8) Good night (896) Bad night (591)
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  (951): View more from California

  It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.

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  (951): It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set. http://tfl.nu/pz4i
  Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level

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  (412): I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level http://tfl.nu/bgaz
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (725)

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