Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.