Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.