He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
