The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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