Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
