is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize