Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
