well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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