Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
