My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize