Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
