I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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