Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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