I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
