what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
