dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
