Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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