Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
