i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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