I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
