to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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