i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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