I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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