Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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