as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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