Do you still have your period?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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