Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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