party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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