He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
