dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
