No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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