brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
