We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
