Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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