Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
